Think it? I know you're the king's champion of the desperate, man.
[bang bang bang. Hazel sacrifices not laying on her stomach and having to awkwardly look up for being able to shoot off double finger guns. not only is she unmoved by his tragic demise, she wants to see how far he'll ham it up - hence the extra bullets.]
[you'd think between the amount of time she's known Josuke and the fact that she was egging him on Hazel would know he's playing when you goes toppling off the couch. but if you thought that then you'd be forgetting what a huge softy she actually is!
there's a flash of real concern when he goes over which is thankfully mostly hidden by Josuke's new position and the couch itself. by the time she's leaning over the arm to regard him she's looking mildly amused as usual.]
Well then, get on with it. I want to see how much shit you left me in your will.
[Alas, Josuke is grinning back up at her, unable to keep a serious expression in place for too long when he's obviously bullshitting.
The smile does fade in favor of a surprised look a moment later, though! And Josuke sits up, hands grasping his ankles a second later as he peers at Hazel.]
I don't have a will! All I've got is that list of stuff we're supposed to be doing together that we haven't made a huge dent in yet.
i don't remember what we were joking about & i don't care i'm so happy to see this tag in my inbox
[Josuke shoves himself back to his feet and brushes his hands over his clothes to smooth out any wrinkles.]
I dunno, could be! Unless we get a move on crossing off some of the stuff that's on there. I mean, it's been a bit since we tried to tackle something, right? So...
[Hand on his hip, head cocked to the side.]
What's next? What's the thing you wanna do the most?
no because now i can just link you that jonathan-joseph thread if i have to
[she actually has to think about this, because the thing she really wants to do most is something that she can't say to Josuke - I want to find a way to beat these necromancers.
so...what about second place? after everything that had happened, these kinds of bright optimistic desires had completely fled her mind.]
You're making it sound like you're planning on dieing pretty soon, christ...
[she mumbles nearly incoherently to herself, before she finally settles on an actual answer and looks back up (and up, thanks a lot for standing while she's on the couch) at him.]
[THIS IS DIFFERENT, THIS IS HER UNSOLVABLE PROBLEM. TELLING PEOPLE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING BUT UPSET THEM and she's already got an expiration date on these friendships and wants them to be only full of happy memories.
anyway.
he looks so pointlessly self-confident that she can't help but tease him a little and mimic the pose. her own outstretched finger just barely touches his. boop.]
Close enough! Then I'm dragging your ass up to my hometown someday and I'm going to laugh when you get murdered on the bunny slope!
[her face scrunches up in childish petulance, and she reaches up to pull on his collar. she refuses to be height-condescended to, you're coming down to her level!!!!]
Like you'd even be able to catch me on the easy trails.
[vhfjdgkf AUGH THERE'S NOTHING ELSE SHE CAN DO. her cheeks puff out for a few moments in frustration but otherwise she just leaves him, apparently unaware that it's her hands keeping him there. it's easier to focus on getting worked up over his words instead.]
That's not how it works! And like hell I'd let you do that in the first place!
[Josuke clicks his tongue at her before leaning closer, planting one hand on the arm of the sofa to brace himself and the other...somewhere along the back cushions. Who cares about that hand right now. Pay no attention to it.]
I don't think you really could stop me, you know? In fact, I'm willing to bet you couldn't! And do you wanna know why I'm willing to bet on that?
[Of course she does!]
Because you can't even stop this!
[OH NO, SOFA CUSHION ASSAULT! Hope you weren't counting on a good hair day, Hazel!]
Huh...?
[..........???????
The hell? The cushion's. Stuck. Like sewn in place stuck.
THE HELL IS THIS WHO PUT SEMI-ATTACHED CUSHIONS IN THIS LIVING ROOM?!]
[alright, she admits it. she'd screwed her eyes shut the minute it became clear that she was about to suffer some terribly benign fate. but when nothing comes and Josuke's making baffled noises out in the real world, she cautiously pops an eye open to scope out the situation.
and then it dawns on her what exactly's just happened and she's laughing hysterically right on Josuke's face. what a great and unexpected benefit to him getting so jokingly close! now he can feel the full brunt of her hilarity at his expense.]
Man, you better hope they didn't glue all the snow in place too!
What are you gonna do to stop me, try and throw something I duct taped to the table at me?
[Hazel is perfectly fine with this act of retribution, because she's still clinging stubbornly to his collar. YOU'RE COMING DOWN WITH HER AND SHE'S NOT GOING TO STOP LAUGHING THE WHOLE WAY]
[WOW RUDE NOT EVEN GIVING HIM A CHANCE TO ANSWER because suddenly he's being hauled unprepared over the arm of the sofa and tumbling into a mess of limbs with her atop the cushions!
There's probably a lot of loud squawking at this point. And flailing.
It is important to note that through it all Josuke at least has the presence of mind to guard his nose with one hand, however! Your fingers don't belong there, Hazel. NEVER AGAIN.]
[SHE'LL GET YOUR NOSE AGAIN SOMEDAY, JOSUKE. you are human and thus weak in your need for sleep.
in the present, however, she's perfectly content with her current victory as it is. she's probably getting hit by some of those flailing limbs, but it doesn't matter. all of Josuke's protestations just fuel her (now incredibly smug-sounding) mirth...at least until she realizes that she's totally pinned on the couch and can't get out from this horrible entanglement of body parts.]
Oh my god, I forgot you weigh like a million pounds.
[can he even hear here with the way she's so muffled? who knows. regardless, she's now trying valiantly to worm her hand up to where Josuke's nearest armpit is in order to enact escape plan two. time to find out if he's ticklish!]
It's not! [Oh my god, she is such a worm!] My fault!
[Wait, wait! She's going for his underarms? NO DEAL! Gonna stop that right now, thank you! By unclamping his nose. And using both hands to wrestle hers away from his super sensitive and ticklish parts!]
You don't even qualify as—!
[Finally! He gets her arms pinned on either side of her head against the couch cushions and he can smirk victoriously down at her!]
—bantamweight!
[...and then shooting a look sideways at the coffee table and the duct taped objects.]
What's the deal with those anyway? I coulda fixed all that. Were you just trying to liven up the place?
You're just making excuses to make yourself feel better!
[NOOOOO THIS ISN'T FAIR. all of her limbs are trapped now, although she supposes that she does not have the benefit of knowing he's totally ticklish there. an advantage for another time, apparently.
she strains her neck, trying one last desperate attempt to free herself by licking his nose or eyeball or anything gross enough to get him to let go. but she is tiny and her pinned arms don't help, so she doesn't even make it close to reaching his face and resorts to petulantly wiggling it back and forth instead. rero rero rero.
...at least until he mentions the installation pieces she'd accidentally created, after which she stops and follows his gaze as best she can.]
...you're my friend, not a repairman. I'm not going to call you every time something gets busted.
[plus she's saving all those favors for when she really fucks up. but this is actually really sincere and genuine for Hazel, because her tones makes it clear that she never even considered asking him.]
It's just stuff from when Kangmo was dying of zombie plague, anyway. No big deal.
[Hazel there's still a tarp on one of your windows just because it's got scottie dog duct tape holding it together doesn't make it nonexistent.]
[Josuke's climbing off her without a word, taking up the nearest object on the coffee table. What looks like it should have been some kind of ornament? Maybe. Now completely unrecognizable in its patterned duct tape cast.]
I mean...I'm glad you don't call on me just to fix things, but...it's because I'm your friend that I don't mind, you know?
[He's standing now, setting the object down so he can plant fists on his hips and give the living room (and that window) a thorough once over.]
...Kangmo did all this? Did he even offer to help fix any of it?
[Zombie plague or no, a decent person would still offer to help fix this stuff up. You know. Beyond slapping some tape on it.]
Uh, well, I think the window's probably technically my fault.
[since she did tackle him through it, it's probably decent to at least take responsibility for that one...
she sits up after a second, pushing wayward clumps out hair out of her eyes. ]
He hasn't spoken to me since I threw his ass in the hospital and I wasn't going to wait around for something that wasn't going to happen. [ah, such faith, Hazel]
And look at all the different patterns tape comes in now! They make one that looks like fucking wicker, I had no idea.
[this isn't really the thing to be focusing on, but beyond the principle of the thing Hazel isn't as upset about the broken stuff as she could be. one, none of it is actually hers. two, the things Kangmo said to her during his crazed rampage and the terror outside the hospital were a lot worse.]
[Josuke rolls his eyes and raises his hand to the bridge of his nose. Pinches it for a second, and then with a sigh, lets go again, shakes his head, and punches one fist into the palm of the other.]
Alright. I've decided. I'm gonna help you get all this patched up! I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't.
[He's also decided he really doesn't like Congo or whatever his name is. The more he hears about the guy, the more he wants to punch him in the face. He's always causing trouble for Hazel...and that really doesn't sit well with Josuke.]
And if that Kokomo guy shows his face around here again and fucks shit up or takes advantage of you being a closet softie, tell him I'm gonna kick his ass.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deadtective) wrote2015-01-08 01:21 am
hey i can stop. at any time.
Ah! I'm wounded!
[He grabs dramatically at his chest. Fabric of his shirt clenched between his fingers!]
You think I'm only good enough for the desperate? Oh, my poor heart, Hazel!
i feel like this is a lie...
[bang bang bang. Hazel sacrifices not laying on her stomach and having to awkwardly look up for being able to shoot off double finger guns. not only is she unmoved by his tragic demise, she wants to see how far he'll ham it up - hence the extra bullets.]
...it's not! see that? i stopped. briefly.
[Clutches harder at his chest and leans over the arm! Leans! Keeps leaning, even! Until...
...he's taking a tumble backwards.
Calculated, of course.
Landing and sprawling backwards on the floor, eyes wide as he stares up at the ceiling comically.]
I can't bear the insult! I think...I think I'm dying.
i don't think that really counts
there's a flash of real concern when he goes over which is thankfully mostly hidden by Josuke's new position and the couch itself. by the time she's leaning over the arm to regard him she's looking mildly amused as usual.]
Well then, get on with it. I want to see how much shit you left me in your will.
Don't doubt me!
The smile does fade in favor of a surprised look a moment later, though! And Josuke sits up, hands grasping his ankles a second later as he peers at Hazel.]
I don't have a will! All I've got is that list of stuff we're supposed to be doing together that we haven't made a huge dent in yet.
i don't remember what we were joking about & i don't care i'm so happy to see this tag in my inbox
What, are you saying if you bite it I have to go finish that stuff by myself?
DOES THIS MEAN I WIN?
I dunno, could be! Unless we get a move on crossing off some of the stuff that's on there. I mean, it's been a bit since we tried to tackle something, right? So...
[Hand on his hip, head cocked to the side.]
What's next? What's the thing you wanna do the most?
no because now i can just link you that jonathan-joseph thread if i have to
so...what about second place? after everything that had happened, these kinds of bright optimistic desires had completely fled her mind.]
You're making it sound like you're planning on dieing pretty soon, christ...
[she mumbles nearly incoherently to herself, before she finally settles on an actual answer and looks back up (and up, thanks a lot for standing while she's on the couch) at him.]
Do you know how to ski?
sdkfjdh what
I am not, you're just reading into things!
[But honestly, it doesn't hurt to get the ball rolling again just in case, right? Right!]
Anyway! [He stabs a finger in her direction.] I can't ski!
[And yet he sounds...confident? Even looks sure of himself? Josuke why.]
I'm positive I can rock a ski suit, though!
it's upsetting and if i upset you then i win
anyway.
he looks so pointlessly self-confident that she can't help but tease him a little and mimic the pose. her own outstretched finger just barely touches his. boop.]
Close enough! Then I'm dragging your ass up to my hometown someday and I'm going to laugh when you get murdered on the bunny slope!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nXGPZaTKik
Huh?
[He steps closer so that he can look down at her!
And then poke her on the forehead. Right between the eyes!]
I may go down, but I'll take you with me.
yes. extremely.
Like you'd even be able to catch me on the easy trails.
CACKLES
I don't know, I could probably bring the whole mountain down...can you outrun an avalanche?
[Josuke that is NOT something to brag about.]
NO IT'S NOT FAIR they're so cute
That's not how it works! And like hell I'd let you do that in the first place!
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[Josuke clicks his tongue at her before leaning closer, planting one hand on the arm of the sofa to brace himself and the other...somewhere along the back cushions. Who cares about that hand right now. Pay no attention to it.]
I don't think you really could stop me, you know? In fact, I'm willing to bet you couldn't! And do you wanna know why I'm willing to bet on that?
[Of course she does!]
Because you can't even stop this!
[OH NO, SOFA CUSHION ASSAULT! Hope you weren't counting on a good hair day, Hazel!]
Huh...?
[..........???????
The hell? The cushion's. Stuck. Like sewn in place stuck.
THE HELL IS THIS WHO PUT SEMI-ATTACHED CUSHIONS IN THIS LIVING ROOM?!]
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and then it dawns on her what exactly's just happened and she's laughing hysterically right on Josuke's face. what a great and unexpected benefit to him getting so jokingly close! now he can feel the full brunt of her hilarity at his expense.]
Man, you better hope they didn't glue all the snow in place too!
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...shut up.
[JHe's just gonna plop his hand down onto her head and push her back on the sofa cushions instead.]
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[Hazel is perfectly fine with this act of retribution, because she's still clinging stubbornly to his collar. YOU'RE COMING DOWN WITH HER AND SHE'S NOT GOING TO STOP LAUGHING THE WHOLE WAY]
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There's probably a lot of loud squawking at this point. And flailing.
It is important to note that through it all Josuke at least has the presence of mind to guard his nose with one hand, however! Your fingers don't belong there, Hazel. NEVER AGAIN.]
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in the present, however, she's perfectly content with her current victory as it is. she's probably getting hit by some of those flailing limbs, but it doesn't matter. all of Josuke's protestations just fuel her (now incredibly smug-sounding) mirth...at least until she realizes that she's totally pinned on the couch and can't get out from this horrible entanglement of body parts.]
Oh my god, I forgot you weigh like a million pounds.
[can he even hear here with the way she's so muffled? who knows. regardless, she's now trying valiantly to worm her hand up to where Josuke's nearest armpit is in order to enact escape plan two. time to find out if he's ticklish!]
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[Wait, wait! She's going for his underarms? NO DEAL! Gonna stop that right now, thank you! By unclamping his nose. And using both hands to wrestle hers away from his super sensitive and ticklish parts!]
You don't even qualify as—!
[Finally! He gets her arms pinned on either side of her head against the couch cushions and he can smirk victoriously down at her!]
—bantamweight!
[...and then shooting a look sideways at the coffee table and the duct taped objects.]
What's the deal with those anyway? I coulda fixed all that. Were you just trying to liven up the place?
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[NOOOOO THIS ISN'T FAIR. all of her limbs are trapped now, although she supposes that she does not have the benefit of knowing he's totally ticklish there. an advantage for another time, apparently.
she strains her neck, trying one last desperate attempt to free herself by licking his nose or eyeball or anything gross enough to get him to let go. but she is tiny and her pinned arms don't help, so she doesn't even make it close to reaching his face and resorts to petulantly wiggling it back and forth instead. rero rero rero.
...at least until he mentions the installation pieces she'd accidentally created, after which she stops and follows his gaze as best she can.]
...you're my friend, not a repairman. I'm not going to call you every time something gets busted.
[plus she's saving all those favors for when she really fucks up. but this is actually really sincere and genuine for Hazel, because her tones makes it clear that she never even considered asking him.]
It's just stuff from when Kangmo was dying of zombie plague, anyway. No big deal.
[Hazel there's still a tarp on one of your windows just because it's got scottie dog duct tape holding it together doesn't make it nonexistent.]
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I mean...I'm glad you don't call on me just to fix things, but...it's because I'm your friend that I don't mind, you know?
[He's standing now, setting the object down so he can plant fists on his hips and give the living room (and that window) a thorough once over.]
...Kangmo did all this? Did he even offer to help fix any of it?
[Zombie plague or no, a decent person would still offer to help fix this stuff up. You know. Beyond slapping some tape on it.]
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[since she did tackle him through it, it's probably decent to at least take responsibility for that one...
she sits up after a second, pushing wayward clumps out hair out of her eyes. ]
He hasn't spoken to me since I threw his ass in the hospital and I wasn't going to wait around for something that wasn't going to happen. [ah, such faith, Hazel]
And look at all the different patterns tape comes in now! They make one that looks like fucking wicker, I had no idea.
[this isn't really the thing to be focusing on, but beyond the principle of the thing Hazel isn't as upset about the broken stuff as she could be. one, none of it is actually hers. two, the things Kangmo said to her during his crazed rampage and the terror outside the hospital were a lot worse.]
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[Josuke rolls his eyes and raises his hand to the bridge of his nose. Pinches it for a second, and then with a sigh, lets go again, shakes his head, and punches one fist into the palm of the other.]
Alright. I've decided. I'm gonna help you get all this patched up! I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't.
[He's also decided he really doesn't like Congo or whatever his name is. The more he hears about the guy, the more he wants to punch him in the face. He's always causing trouble for Hazel...and that really doesn't sit well with Josuke.]
And if that Kokomo guy shows his face around here again and fucks shit up or takes advantage of you being a closet softie, tell him I'm gonna kick his ass.
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