ic contact;

[deadtective]

"Well, you reached me, but I'm obviously not answering right now. Leave a message and if I'm not avoiding you I'll get back as soon as I can."

Comments

[unbreaker]

i'm not gonna b wearing a bikini so i think u'll b fine

[deadtective]

If you were even considering wearing a bikini I don't think I'd ever speak to you again.




Also if I find a spare one in your bag when I show up I'm leaving.

[unbreaker]

wow i like 2 think i dress better than my old man thnx

and can think of better pranks than that 2

[deadtective]

Why does your father wear women's swimwear.

[PRIORITIES]

[unbreaker]

ok srsly idk and i've been trying 2 figure that out

it's rly weird

[Okay, so Joseph doesn't REALLY wear women's swimwear (that he knows of) - that would be Dio - but the stuff he DOES wear is still really...weird. So he doesn't bother correcting Hazel.]

[deadtective]

Have you found any makeup in his room?? Because he might just be a drag queen or something.

[things she never thought she'd be suggesting, but text gives Hazel power and she can't stop herself from answering with her first thought]

[unbreaker]

i haven't been 2 his place yet!! what if that explains it

shit hazel wtf y would u tell me that now i can't unsee it adfkjdfasg

[deadtective]

You were the one that started it by mentioning him in the first place!!! And anyway you should know before you run into him all dolled up downtown one night!!

[unbreaker]

NO WAY THAT'D NEVER HAPPEN

[...it's so going to happen. And then Josuke will blame Hazel for it. She jinxed him.]

whatever just. come 2 the beach.

i think we're meeting at the porter in cape canaveral and heading out from there.

[deadtective]

[IT'S NOT HER FAULT FOR DROPPING MAD TRUTHS. also don't blame her send her pics instead so she can judge how good your dad is at drag.]

Ok, sure, that's fine. Do I have to bring anything besides myself?

[unbreaker]

i don't think so, i think we got everything else covered unless there's something u rly want 2 bring???

[deadtective]

You mean besides my dignity? Not especially.

[unbreaker]

no leave that at home who needs it

[deadtective]

I do. It is literally the only thing keeping my soul rooted to this chemical-infested husk.

[unbreaker]

i call bullshit

[deadtective]

You want to test that and explain the corpse floating in the ocean to your friends? You want to make it that kind of bonfire night? Because I will absolutely commit to the horror theme if I have to.

[unbreaker]

how about...no

i don't really think ken would b able to deal with that

[deadtective]

Ken needs to get it together, then. That's the only group prank I know now.

[unbreaker]

i think that means u need 2 get with it then and learn some new pranks

[deadtective]

Well excuse me, I haven't gone advertising for a jokester mentor just yet.

[unbreaker]

not excused!

[deadtective]

I'm excusing myself, I don't need your approval!!

[unbreaker]

w/e

so ur coming right? right. see u there!

[deadtective]

Sure, sure. You better not be late after hassling me like this!