[As she pushes his hands back towards him, Josuke throws them back up again and to his pompadour in a very Danny Zuko gesture, as if to slick back his do and make sure there isn't a strand of hair out of place.]
Those o's are pretty lucky, then! But...! If you're gonna be smitten with me, you should know how to spell my whole name so you can write it on everything. Here! I'll give you a lesson.
[...the stupid factor is about to escalate.
In fact. He points at her.]
The most important thing to remember is that you can't spell my name without u—
[And then gestures back to himself with his thumbs. And a cheesy grin.]
[...nope, that is way too much for her to handle. Hazel folds, falling half-prone on the couch and shielding her head with her arms as she dissolves into a monster giggle fit. she's not even sure what part of all that she's found so hilarious, just that the culmination of so much gleeful idiocy has thrown her over the edge.
her body shakes with the combined effort of all the laughter escaping her and the rest of it that she's trying to restrain. somewhere in between all this you can hear a muffled exclamation, if you're listening close enough.]
I take it back! You're the dumbest person to ever walk on planet earth!
Edited (!!!!!) 2015-05-09 23:24 (UTC)
yeah. YEAH. this is what you signed up for. i'm not sorry.
[Josuke isn't in any better shape, let's be honest! He's doubled over not long after her, snickering like a total buffoon! Not at his own joke, but at the amount of giggling that making such a lame joke actually earned him!
And you bet your socks he's proud of this...feat!
But mostly he's just glad things seem to have relaxed again. This is how he knows how to be with Hazel! Carefree and idiotic until they're both wheezing and holding their stomachs from crippling laughter brought on by giving no shits and having way too much fun.]
As if you're any better, you're hanging out with me and you know by now what I'm like!
i don't think i actually signed up for any of this
she manages to prop herself up in an elbow in order to jab a finger in his direction. this is truly miraculous and everyone should be really impressed she was able to pull it off amidst the floodwaters of all this released tension.]
Hey, I have an excuse! I'm the most desperate girl in the world, remember?
Think it? I know you're the king's champion of the desperate, man.
[bang bang bang. Hazel sacrifices not laying on her stomach and having to awkwardly look up for being able to shoot off double finger guns. not only is she unmoved by his tragic demise, she wants to see how far he'll ham it up - hence the extra bullets.]
[you'd think between the amount of time she's known Josuke and the fact that she was egging him on Hazel would know he's playing when you goes toppling off the couch. but if you thought that then you'd be forgetting what a huge softy she actually is!
there's a flash of real concern when he goes over which is thankfully mostly hidden by Josuke's new position and the couch itself. by the time she's leaning over the arm to regard him she's looking mildly amused as usual.]
Well then, get on with it. I want to see how much shit you left me in your will.
[Alas, Josuke is grinning back up at her, unable to keep a serious expression in place for too long when he's obviously bullshitting.
The smile does fade in favor of a surprised look a moment later, though! And Josuke sits up, hands grasping his ankles a second later as he peers at Hazel.]
I don't have a will! All I've got is that list of stuff we're supposed to be doing together that we haven't made a huge dent in yet.
i don't remember what we were joking about & i don't care i'm so happy to see this tag in my inbox
[Josuke shoves himself back to his feet and brushes his hands over his clothes to smooth out any wrinkles.]
I dunno, could be! Unless we get a move on crossing off some of the stuff that's on there. I mean, it's been a bit since we tried to tackle something, right? So...
[Hand on his hip, head cocked to the side.]
What's next? What's the thing you wanna do the most?
no because now i can just link you that jonathan-joseph thread if i have to
[she actually has to think about this, because the thing she really wants to do most is something that she can't say to Josuke - I want to find a way to beat these necromancers.
so...what about second place? after everything that had happened, these kinds of bright optimistic desires had completely fled her mind.]
You're making it sound like you're planning on dieing pretty soon, christ...
[she mumbles nearly incoherently to herself, before she finally settles on an actual answer and looks back up (and up, thanks a lot for standing while she's on the couch) at him.]
[THIS IS DIFFERENT, THIS IS HER UNSOLVABLE PROBLEM. TELLING PEOPLE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING BUT UPSET THEM and she's already got an expiration date on these friendships and wants them to be only full of happy memories.
anyway.
he looks so pointlessly self-confident that she can't help but tease him a little and mimic the pose. her own outstretched finger just barely touches his. boop.]
Close enough! Then I'm dragging your ass up to my hometown someday and I'm going to laugh when you get murdered on the bunny slope!
[her face scrunches up in childish petulance, and she reaches up to pull on his collar. she refuses to be height-condescended to, you're coming down to her level!!!!]
Like you'd even be able to catch me on the easy trails.
[vhfjdgkf AUGH THERE'S NOTHING ELSE SHE CAN DO. her cheeks puff out for a few moments in frustration but otherwise she just leaves him, apparently unaware that it's her hands keeping him there. it's easier to focus on getting worked up over his words instead.]
That's not how it works! And like hell I'd let you do that in the first place!
[Josuke clicks his tongue at her before leaning closer, planting one hand on the arm of the sofa to brace himself and the other...somewhere along the back cushions. Who cares about that hand right now. Pay no attention to it.]
I don't think you really could stop me, you know? In fact, I'm willing to bet you couldn't! And do you wanna know why I'm willing to bet on that?
[Of course she does!]
Because you can't even stop this!
[OH NO, SOFA CUSHION ASSAULT! Hope you weren't counting on a good hair day, Hazel!]
Huh...?
[..........???????
The hell? The cushion's. Stuck. Like sewn in place stuck.
THE HELL IS THIS WHO PUT SEMI-ATTACHED CUSHIONS IN THIS LIVING ROOM?!]
[alright, she admits it. she'd screwed her eyes shut the minute it became clear that she was about to suffer some terribly benign fate. but when nothing comes and Josuke's making baffled noises out in the real world, she cautiously pops an eye open to scope out the situation.
and then it dawns on her what exactly's just happened and she's laughing hysterically right on Josuke's face. what a great and unexpected benefit to him getting so jokingly close! now he can feel the full brunt of her hilarity at his expense.]
Man, you better hope they didn't glue all the snow in place too!
What are you gonna do to stop me, try and throw something I duct taped to the table at me?
[Hazel is perfectly fine with this act of retribution, because she's still clinging stubbornly to his collar. YOU'RE COMING DOWN WITH HER AND SHE'S NOT GOING TO STOP LAUGHING THE WHOLE WAY]
[WOW RUDE NOT EVEN GIVING HIM A CHANCE TO ANSWER because suddenly he's being hauled unprepared over the arm of the sofa and tumbling into a mess of limbs with her atop the cushions!
There's probably a lot of loud squawking at this point. And flailing.
It is important to note that through it all Josuke at least has the presence of mind to guard his nose with one hand, however! Your fingers don't belong there, Hazel. NEVER AGAIN.]
[SHE'LL GET YOUR NOSE AGAIN SOMEDAY, JOSUKE. you are human and thus weak in your need for sleep.
in the present, however, she's perfectly content with her current victory as it is. she's probably getting hit by some of those flailing limbs, but it doesn't matter. all of Josuke's protestations just fuel her (now incredibly smug-sounding) mirth...at least until she realizes that she's totally pinned on the couch and can't get out from this horrible entanglement of body parts.]
Oh my god, I forgot you weigh like a million pounds.
[can he even hear here with the way she's so muffled? who knows. regardless, she's now trying valiantly to worm her hand up to where Josuke's nearest armpit is in order to enact escape plan two. time to find out if he's ticklish!]
It's not! [Oh my god, she is such a worm!] My fault!
[Wait, wait! She's going for his underarms? NO DEAL! Gonna stop that right now, thank you! By unclamping his nose. And using both hands to wrestle hers away from his super sensitive and ticklish parts!]
You don't even qualify as—!
[Finally! He gets her arms pinned on either side of her head against the couch cushions and he can smirk victoriously down at her!]
—bantamweight!
[...and then shooting a look sideways at the coffee table and the duct taped objects.]
What's the deal with those anyway? I coulda fixed all that. Were you just trying to liven up the place?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deadtective) wrote2015-01-08 01:21 am
because the delivery of awful lines is important!
[As she pushes his hands back towards him, Josuke throws them back up again and to his pompadour in a very Danny Zuko gesture, as if to slick back his do and make sure there isn't a strand of hair out of place.]
Those o's are pretty lucky, then! But...! If you're gonna be smitten with me, you should know how to spell my whole name so you can write it on everything. Here! I'll give you a lesson.
[...the stupid factor is about to escalate.
In fact. He points at her.]
The most important thing to remember is that you can't spell my name without u—
[And then gestures back to himself with his thumbs. And a cheesy grin.]
—and i!
oh my god
her body shakes with the combined effort of all the laughter escaping her and the rest of it that she's trying to restrain. somewhere in between all this you can hear a muffled exclamation, if you're listening close enough.]
I take it back! You're the dumbest person to ever walk on planet earth!
yeah. YEAH. this is what you signed up for. i'm not sorry.
And you bet your socks he's proud of this...feat!
But mostly he's just glad things seem to have relaxed again. This is how he knows how to be with Hazel! Carefree and idiotic until they're both wheezing and holding their stomachs from crippling laughter brought on by giving no shits and having way too much fun.]
As if you're any better, you're hanging out with me and you know by now what I'm like!
i don't think i actually signed up for any of this
she manages to prop herself up in an elbow in order to jab a finger in his direction. this is truly miraculous and everyone should be really impressed she was able to pull it off amidst the floodwaters of all this released tension.]
Hey, I have an excuse! I'm the most desperate girl in the world, remember?
hey i can stop. at any time.
Ah! I'm wounded!
[He grabs dramatically at his chest. Fabric of his shirt clenched between his fingers!]
You think I'm only good enough for the desperate? Oh, my poor heart, Hazel!
i feel like this is a lie...
[bang bang bang. Hazel sacrifices not laying on her stomach and having to awkwardly look up for being able to shoot off double finger guns. not only is she unmoved by his tragic demise, she wants to see how far he'll ham it up - hence the extra bullets.]
...it's not! see that? i stopped. briefly.
[Clutches harder at his chest and leans over the arm! Leans! Keeps leaning, even! Until...
...he's taking a tumble backwards.
Calculated, of course.
Landing and sprawling backwards on the floor, eyes wide as he stares up at the ceiling comically.]
I can't bear the insult! I think...I think I'm dying.
i don't think that really counts
there's a flash of real concern when he goes over which is thankfully mostly hidden by Josuke's new position and the couch itself. by the time she's leaning over the arm to regard him she's looking mildly amused as usual.]
Well then, get on with it. I want to see how much shit you left me in your will.
Don't doubt me!
The smile does fade in favor of a surprised look a moment later, though! And Josuke sits up, hands grasping his ankles a second later as he peers at Hazel.]
I don't have a will! All I've got is that list of stuff we're supposed to be doing together that we haven't made a huge dent in yet.
i don't remember what we were joking about & i don't care i'm so happy to see this tag in my inbox
What, are you saying if you bite it I have to go finish that stuff by myself?
DOES THIS MEAN I WIN?
I dunno, could be! Unless we get a move on crossing off some of the stuff that's on there. I mean, it's been a bit since we tried to tackle something, right? So...
[Hand on his hip, head cocked to the side.]
What's next? What's the thing you wanna do the most?
no because now i can just link you that jonathan-joseph thread if i have to
so...what about second place? after everything that had happened, these kinds of bright optimistic desires had completely fled her mind.]
You're making it sound like you're planning on dieing pretty soon, christ...
[she mumbles nearly incoherently to herself, before she finally settles on an actual answer and looks back up (and up, thanks a lot for standing while she's on the couch) at him.]
Do you know how to ski?
sdkfjdh what
I am not, you're just reading into things!
[But honestly, it doesn't hurt to get the ball rolling again just in case, right? Right!]
Anyway! [He stabs a finger in her direction.] I can't ski!
[And yet he sounds...confident? Even looks sure of himself? Josuke why.]
I'm positive I can rock a ski suit, though!
it's upsetting and if i upset you then i win
anyway.
he looks so pointlessly self-confident that she can't help but tease him a little and mimic the pose. her own outstretched finger just barely touches his. boop.]
Close enough! Then I'm dragging your ass up to my hometown someday and I'm going to laugh when you get murdered on the bunny slope!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nXGPZaTKik
Huh?
[He steps closer so that he can look down at her!
And then poke her on the forehead. Right between the eyes!]
I may go down, but I'll take you with me.
yes. extremely.
Like you'd even be able to catch me on the easy trails.
CACKLES
I don't know, I could probably bring the whole mountain down...can you outrun an avalanche?
[Josuke that is NOT something to brag about.]
NO IT'S NOT FAIR they're so cute
That's not how it works! And like hell I'd let you do that in the first place!
no subject
[Josuke clicks his tongue at her before leaning closer, planting one hand on the arm of the sofa to brace himself and the other...somewhere along the back cushions. Who cares about that hand right now. Pay no attention to it.]
I don't think you really could stop me, you know? In fact, I'm willing to bet you couldn't! And do you wanna know why I'm willing to bet on that?
[Of course she does!]
Because you can't even stop this!
[OH NO, SOFA CUSHION ASSAULT! Hope you weren't counting on a good hair day, Hazel!]
Huh...?
[..........???????
The hell? The cushion's. Stuck. Like sewn in place stuck.
THE HELL IS THIS WHO PUT SEMI-ATTACHED CUSHIONS IN THIS LIVING ROOM?!]
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and then it dawns on her what exactly's just happened and she's laughing hysterically right on Josuke's face. what a great and unexpected benefit to him getting so jokingly close! now he can feel the full brunt of her hilarity at his expense.]
Man, you better hope they didn't glue all the snow in place too!
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...shut up.
[JHe's just gonna plop his hand down onto her head and push her back on the sofa cushions instead.]
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[Hazel is perfectly fine with this act of retribution, because she's still clinging stubbornly to his collar. YOU'RE COMING DOWN WITH HER AND SHE'S NOT GOING TO STOP LAUGHING THE WHOLE WAY]
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There's probably a lot of loud squawking at this point. And flailing.
It is important to note that through it all Josuke at least has the presence of mind to guard his nose with one hand, however! Your fingers don't belong there, Hazel. NEVER AGAIN.]
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in the present, however, she's perfectly content with her current victory as it is. she's probably getting hit by some of those flailing limbs, but it doesn't matter. all of Josuke's protestations just fuel her (now incredibly smug-sounding) mirth...at least until she realizes that she's totally pinned on the couch and can't get out from this horrible entanglement of body parts.]
Oh my god, I forgot you weigh like a million pounds.
[can he even hear here with the way she's so muffled? who knows. regardless, she's now trying valiantly to worm her hand up to where Josuke's nearest armpit is in order to enact escape plan two. time to find out if he's ticklish!]
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[Wait, wait! She's going for his underarms? NO DEAL! Gonna stop that right now, thank you! By unclamping his nose. And using both hands to wrestle hers away from his super sensitive and ticklish parts!]
You don't even qualify as—!
[Finally! He gets her arms pinned on either side of her head against the couch cushions and he can smirk victoriously down at her!]
—bantamweight!
[...and then shooting a look sideways at the coffee table and the duct taped objects.]
What's the deal with those anyway? I coulda fixed all that. Were you just trying to liven up the place?
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