ic contact;

[deadtective]

"Well, you reached me, but I'm obviously not answering right now. Leave a message and if I'm not avoiding you I'll get back as soon as I can."

Comments

[rockpun]

hey, hazel. i just wanted to thank you for what you did at the swear-in. i kind of forgot about it but my birthday was the 21st and, like. i might not have made it to 17 if you hadnt done something. (you know, no drama or anything. ;) )

[deadtective]

That's an awfully sappy thing to say to someone who threw a soda bottle at your head. You know that, right?

[rockpun]

maybe im not used to people caring that much about me and im feeling sappy. or maybe you knocked something loose! whichever makes you feel better.

[deadtective]

My bet's on head injury. And I'm not paying any hospital bills you rack up, I'm telling you that right now.

[rockpun]

i wasnt expecting it. i figure if crime doesnt pay, crime prevention pays even worse. besides, i dont even need it, it turns out. my doctor tells me the bleeding is internal, and thats where the blood is supposed to be.

look okay, hilarious jokes aside, i guess i owe you now?

[deadtective]

You don't owe me jack shit. I didn't do anything above and beyond basic human decency, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is a fucking liar.

[rockpun]

whoa, okay, didnt think i would be touching a nerve, my bad. youd be surprised how many people are devoted to outing secrets, though. maybe its not a big deal to you but it was to me.

[deadtective]

It's not a nerve! I'm fine!!! [ALL THESE EXCLAMATION POINTS SAY SO] I just don't want you thinking I did some big thing when I didn't. People shouldn't be allowed to shoot themselves in the foot, that's all.

[rockpun]

strong words from somebody who practically pulled the trigger when we first met. i guess i got lucky, though. youre the only person i know who wasnt hallucinating and were... okay, friends is a strong word. were nice to each other, sometimes, when youre not being a dick.

[deadtective]

When have we ever been nice to each other so far?

[deflecting? who's deflecting? not Hazel, that's for sure.]

[rockpun]

i can think of a solid couple of minutes since i got here. not consecutively, of course.

[deadtective]

You might want to get that checked out, I think the hallucinogens are still in your system.

[rockpun]

its grievous head trauma, try to keep up.

id say im available if you ever want to try being for real friends, but thats an awful superhero thing to say, isnt it? i dont have enough people i can be a jerk at. ill just settle for slowly becoming friends with all the other people you know until i become inescapable.

[deadtective]

Joke's on you, I have like one friend and he's a complete asshole. You'll never get to me!!

[rockpun]

i dont know about that, i liked josuke well enough when we went rock climbing together.

[deadtective]

The novelty's going to wear off really quickly. Trust me.

[rockpun]

im fine with that. it just means i can hone my banter with him and become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

[deadtective]

As the sarcasm final boss, I feel obligated to tell you that you're just grinding on those baby first level rats with this strategy. You're not even going to make it past the stupid gauntlet leading up to me like this.

[rockpun]

yeah well you dont have any other minions i can fight in the meantime, so im just doing what i can. not my fault this game is balanced really poorly.

[deadtective]

That's because he's just a glitch they haven't managed to fix yet. You're supposed to just get murdered by me a few million times before trading the game in for Animal Crossing.

[rockpun]

um, clearly you underestimate how hardcore i am. i got to the christmas level in elite beat agents and only cried for ten minutes.

[deadtective]

Rhythm games? What are you, a toddler?

[rockpun]

i need some downtime from all the halo 2 i clearly pwn in.

[deadtective]

Talk to me again when you've bred the ultimate horse in Secret of the Crystals. Maybe you'll be worth my time then.

[rockpun]

...okay i just googled that (so weird that google is actually the one that stuck around) and question one, what is steam; question two, what is steam train.